Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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