We should be called the Road Head Warriors
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
