it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
