so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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