on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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