Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
