I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
