once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
