new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How does it feel to date your dad?
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