no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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