It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We have started to decorate penises.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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