just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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