He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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