What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
