Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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