I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
