mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
bring money and cleavage
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Randomize
