my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
