But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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