my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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