i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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