I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
