sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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