I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
