no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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