just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
