I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
