Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
