I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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