just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
