she was so not down for the gang bang
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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