pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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