he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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