we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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