dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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