i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
