My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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