Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
