we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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