Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
