just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
