I want to stick my p in your. b.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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