I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
