It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
