omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Randomize