remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
