By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
