This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Randomize
