she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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