Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
