i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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