I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize