he thought i was a dude.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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