in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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