over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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