Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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